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Fantasy and Stuff
Episode 9: An Impressive Battle
August 09, 2018 Jack Riales
The Crusaders head out towards the Hollow Mountain, but run across a treacherous canyon filled with nasty imps. Will they be able to defeat them and save Bearn from certain doom? Thanks so much for watching! You can also find us on iTunes, Google Play Music, Stitcher, Castbox, or wherever the heck you get your podcasts! PLEASE rate us on the service you're using! It helps us immensely. Site: iTunes: Google Play Music: Castbox: Stitcher: Youtube: Wanna say something, but can't find out how!? We're on Twitter! Find us @WackySmacksTV Fantasy and Stuff is a totally cool, hip, and original Dungeons and Dragons podcast produced by Wacky Smacks and hosted by Jack Riales. Co-hosts include: Cyan Stratton playing Fork Silverware, the Tiefling warlock Tyler Flowers playing Oro the cleric of urogolan Jacob Hopkins as Telos Melorum, the drunk wood elf monk Ben Strong as Bearn the Paladin Garison Graham as Greyson Grum Isaiah Russel as Zamlin Music:

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1:0:00Previously on fantasy and stuff, bird came down and took him by the arms and whisked him away and uh, sitting also in this sort of quasi waiting room with you is a short but burly looking, a dwarf whose name is Baird. We're the divine. I have a group of magic users who were essentially trying to push back the corruption and trying to heal people and what we need is an immense amount of magical power and, but you look down, which was probably not a great idea and what you see is a whole bunch of opening eyes started to open and I need, I need everybody to roll. And this shit is.

Speaker 2:1:08Yay.

Speaker 1:1:12I got an 11. Wait, wait, wait, wait, sorry. I got to 13. I rolled up to. What do you add to initiative by the way, your initiative over the years is a zero. Okay. So 14, 14, whenever I do hordes, I rolled them in groups. Kind of a. not to say it's like a giant hoard or whatever, but it's just out of curiosity, these cancers or listen to the book. So what did you start this Christian yourself or are they from the book? These are like very roughly static creatures. Concern. Not that they're not too crazy. Um, you said earlier was going to be him. So I was thinking that's a level one creature. Brooklyn die. If it's a horde, a horde of them, yeah, we're all going to die. But then he says he made him life for a little less scared now. Yeah. Really.

Speaker 1:1:56You don't like rats or something in a cart or something or like goblins and a horse would be terrible. Right. Are guns in the Hort to Dr. Right. Against us. It just depends on what you like right now we're in a really bad situation against the hoard. They call it wine. You have, you basically have to get out of where it's your situation before we can. I can't be with myself up because my head. Well, I mean you didn't say that. I didn't say that yet, but what I, what I will say is you might be worried about other things. So, uh, don't just cut the cord and going one, one group of ems. Essentially we're going to have three groups of ems and how I generally deal with this is, um, as you do damage, I'll say they die and they lose strength over time because it's like they won.

Speaker 1:2:38One of them is not as, not really anything to worry about. A lot of them. He's a problem. A problem. Yeah. Um, so as you, as, as, as, as the group's health lowers its, uh, its whole strength is going to lower, essentially it's ace is going to lower like that and things like that. So that's how I deal with it. And um, the, uh, the first group actually a highest so that will go first, uh, and the rest of low road lowest. So they're gonna go last. So, um, so ben, you were a, you look down and you seen, you see a whole bunch of winging devil creatures fly up above you and go and start circling around and they look angry as they often do. And uh, yeah, they're empty and they're flying around. And um, you know, I'll say it's a group of probably about a four or five of them at the, like this time and I'm one of them's going to come down, swooped down from the, from the group and uh, attack Ya Buddy. So, um, what's your ac? Uh, okay. So, uh, it rolled a 12. So, um, and I'll, I'll say that's based on your armor, right? Because you have heavy armor, so it like tinged against your armor.

Speaker 3:4:00Um, I'm also not carrying my shield now. Uh, so it, it would actually be 16 because the shield gives him close to. Okay, that's fine.

Speaker 1:4:09So, um, yeah, that's, that's cool. It didn't hit any way. Cool. So, uh, taken against your armor and didn't do any damage. Nice. Uh, and it is now your turn.

Speaker 3:4:19Remember they're flying up ahead so I can leave. I can use that. I can use athletics, right?

Speaker 1:4:27Um, I'll just say like, it's a general check. It's more of a, uh, if you want to use that.

Speaker 3:4:32I don't really see. It's like climbing up the rope and Jim, although. Sure.

Speaker 1:4:36Okay. I'll let, I'll let it be athletics. Do A, it's real, it's really kind of a strength saving throw. But do athletics, athletics, athletics gives you a proficiency

Speaker 3:4:48judge. I go, yeah, I'll, I'll let you haven't. 11 plus a three or five. So it's 16. Okay.

Speaker 1:4:56Uh, you climb up another five feet away? Twenty more to go. Only 20.

Speaker 3:5:03You might. What is 30 to 30 foot rope? Yeah, it's a 30 foot rope but he was already 25 feet up. So 20 feet more. So. And you pulled him up?

Speaker 1:5:13No, I pulled it. No, she's right. She's right. She's right at this lifting. Okay. Um, so uh, next is actually your turn. No, no, no, we just did that for sure.

Speaker 3:5:22Can say um, so uh, you said that that talking was not an action, correct. That is a free action that you could do a. I'm going to try to speak in general to them please, please stop. And. Okay. So you just say please stop and they say no, fuck you. So I can't even, I can't even try to persuade them.

Speaker 1:5:43Okay. How about um, so you're, you're trying to persuade them to stop. So roll persuasion. Would that count as an action if you check it or one was wasn't action check. It dims to rules it. Anyway. How's the will really good. I will say I can see you're talking at a horde of them. Just one word. I'll say some of them also, some of the horde decides they want to give up. So they, so I'll say like three of them fly back down and it will actually take mechanically damaged from that. So I'm not sure. You just convinced them they went away. So that's actually, you did actually about 30 damage your devil sweet to.

Speaker 1:6:40So uh, yeah that was a, that was a good turn for persuasion check. And we come to um, aura. I'm pulling them up. They don't mess with me. I don't mess with them. Strength saving throw or athletics. Whichever one is better for you. Strength, saving, throw or athletics the same. Actually No. I get plus one for my legs because my dream. Ha ha ha. I got it for you. Where you are not having any trouble or I'm not doing not doing well. Okay. So you don't pull them any distance? Always me probably two to one. So especially with the heavy armor, trying to pull up a heavy, heavy Dorf is. That takes a lot. I'm also like helping tactic you persuading. You're just talking to those guys. Yeah, it's understood. If you take an action to do something else, you couldn't help in what you were doing. So I'm an all of a sudden another five amps fly up and uh, they go and go to a attack fork actually. So that 12 did not hit. Then I hit. Okay, cool. I'm finally and then all of a sudden another two amps come out and they attacked the rope. Oh good. Oh, they actually, they start, they, they actually hang on the rope like this and they start cutting it with their knives. How far down is the draw for dinos? Was the drop enough?

Speaker 1:8:19So awful. So I guess it's my character. Uh, we, uh, actually come back to, um, group one which just lost three of their boys and the rest of them that were there are going to attack aura. Oh, because they see you're putting the most effort, I guess to pull them up. Great. So uh, and that is a 16 to. Nope. Cool. Yes they are, they are miraculously week. So I'm just letting you guys know if someone's, if it is equal to someone's ap, does that mean they hit or make it to be needed to beat it? Beat it, beat it up. So equal does it. Okay. Um, yeah, so. And now we come to burn.

Speaker 1:9:02So buddy, they're cutting the rope like just, just ahead of you, like on the rope, like five feet ahead of me or like enough. They could, they could be read. I'm just going to do that. Athletics, man. I'm just going to keep climbing. Okay. Oh Man. Fifteen plus five, 20 the. That'll do it. Okay. So you're climbing up and notify if you're about 10 feet away and notably you're kind of there. Now you're getting to where literally the MSR, you're on the ropes attacking me now because I'm doing insight. Oh No, no. We go, we go down to fork.

Speaker 1:9:45I should just die. I don't want to hit him. And that's why I'm not using eldridge blast yet. It doesn't have an job. It has a specific target, so if you want to hit a crit one, you can't be so scared of her crib ones. It's okay. I'm going to book them with my stick after calling the ones on the rope with your Shalala though. All right, so you usually essentially you're using chalet on the, on the, on the batter up at this point. So a role for rolling Thursday 11 plus plus six plus six. Yeah. Okay. So uh, 17. Yeah, that'll help for damage.

Speaker 3:10:33Okay. B, a d eight plus your Chris modifier

Speaker 1:10:4112 plus your charisma model? No, that's. Oh okay. So 12 damage. Okay. So you killed one of the ems and you've injured the other one. I mentioned you like a baseball bat swinging. That's how I envisioned it. I was imagining like I was with or with apparently her 10 foot staff, but whatever, laying down and trying to nudge, nudge them all, let it happen. It doesn't matter, just like broke his wing. So in a world detail where it's like, well the length of your stuff is not adequate. So. Well, my staff is taller than me, so unless it was like 50 fucking attacking the robe, could I have cast that spelled cabinet attack me or impelled tool? I guess you could conceivably. Maybe, I don't know. This has a creature 30 feet and I guess if they're already in a way of attacking you in my opinion, but they had to attack specifically him with compelled to what they. Okay. They're kind of like locked into hit him. Um, so we, we just had fork. Uh, so we, we go to aura,

Speaker 3:11:44he's 10 feet down and there's one in. Just want to protect me.

Speaker 1:11:49No, there's one, there's one up on the ropes. Still cutting the rope and pull bone. See if I can shoot it.

Speaker 3:11:55So are you going to let go of the rope that I'm going to keep rolling because it will lose 10 feet doing athletics. Track. Fuck,

Speaker 1:12:09don't do it. Don't have know she left on her mind. She's not. Yeah, she's a for a second and I was really scared.

Speaker 3:12:17So. All right. Yeah, you're, you're having an immense amount of trouble getting them up the rest of the two to one. Yeah.

Speaker 1:12:23Very fair argument. Not We do not look at her and go, man, he is strong. So we, we come to. Which one strong dude? You come to the second group of amps which um, is still flying around her head

Speaker 3:12:36and um, they just saw you boop, one of their friends I guess and um, they're going to come down and attack fork. Okay. So that does an 18 hit. Uh, so um, I'll say, let's see how many is on temperature too. Okay. So that's [inaudible] like you'd have to let go. Takes my hands to. Oh my God, you could cast spells down there. So you're saying

Speaker 1:13:06can tell you also have to fight you. But then that works on one though, but then that would let go another. Oh, it doesn't work as I go on a whole group.

Speaker 3:13:13Do you have a target? So a fork. They did a seven day imaging as we can't do a job right now mostly because none of us have a job, but if we did it would hit you in the rope and just kill the whole thing for. But I'm saying we shouldn't use it though because even if I did thunder away from where I am, it wouldn't pop the rope. I'd like go. Well, I mean maybe, maybe not. It depends on role with the, uh, with the scrolls requirement on the road. Um, I will be weird I guess because like it'd be shooting out of his pocket. I will say. Yeah, they'll start see that because you have to lay out the thing. They did some damage to you fork, seven damage. So we come do emp group three who is trying to cut the rope and see how much damage they do to the road. That's not good. Um, so it's starting, it's starting to lose threatened. No, it started. It's starting to lose it. So we come back up to Barron. No, no, no, I'm sorry. We come back up to the first group which is still swooping around and I'm going, that's going to try and product or. Oh, to let go the road.

Speaker 3:14:24Okay. So, uh, that's an eight to hit so it doesn't hit. Sorry. Alright. And now bear, can I swing to hit A. Yeah, you could do that one hand. I'm holding onto the next hand. Hold on. He had the same argument that I had where he's pulling himself up. He has gained on the rope. Pull stuff up five feet. Yeah. But if you can do, if you can hold onto it with one hand and he hasn't sorted the other hand.

Speaker 1:14:51Short hammer though.

Speaker 3:14:52He has a hammer. Hammer. Whatever. If it's one handed then it works. If not, then you can actually take that chance. Uh, so. So I'm miss swing and try to hit that fucker off. Okay. Because cause him suck. All right, let's do this shit. 15 plus a up. Sorry. Five. So 21 d eight plus five. So with one hand to damage it is. Yeah. Are they low health ems?

Speaker 1:15:33Yeah, pretty much their home brew, I don't know. They're pretty. Sounds pretty low. Eight killed. 30 damage to persuasion. So to damage? Five, seven, seven, seven. Wow. Okay. So you, you stabbed at him? Not enough room to go away. It's just like it kind of knocked them off a little bit or. No, he's still on there. No Buddy. You're literally like on the edge of this bucket. The whole photo and he's just like the ropes, like no minute on it.

Speaker 3:16:12You should. I will. I was about to, I was just really hoping it was a bonus action, but it's not so like, um, before it enters our caste men on the road trip. So it just happens. Is it within reach for,

Speaker 1:16:27because I believe you have to have it in your hand. If it's within, if it's a within 10 feet, then I'm going to grab the rope and the part that's you're mending it has to be in your hand. Uh, I'm asking is that close enough because that's 10 feet down. Her arms are not 10 feet. Right. That's like the. I let the staff happen

Speaker 3:16:45because remember I was mending the peer as well in the previous episodes.

Speaker 1:16:49Yeah. You could, you could bend down and touch the pier. You were part of that was breaking. Yeah, because we even said that you had to stay right there on top of it here.

Speaker 3:16:59Um, but I mean I can't focus a cure wounds on the rope. I need to actually start focusing on the ones that are actually attacking us and not the rope before a. before I eldridge blast. I'm gonna cast techs as usual, as usual and uh, that takes one of my spell slots. So I don't know if that's really necessary right now considering it targets. One of them have hex can move once you kill it. I forgot about that. Uh, so I'm going to Eldridge blessed the closest one in the front of the group. Sure.

Speaker 1:17:35I mean, I'm really either either one of the groups will, you could hit the one on the rope. It's cutting it.

Speaker 3:17:41I hit him though, but don't be afraid of rolling. One final hit it. I'll hit that one. Okay.

Speaker 1:17:5715? Yes. It hits hits. Why is that a bad role to 15? Truly good against most creatures. Pretty much against anything that's not farmer. Probably that'll knock them off, is that easy? Shotgun blast. And we come to aura, aura borealis. That's my sister's. There's some Alice Alice. It's just going to be a knower. Barley borealis made out of beard. It's going to go, but it's like a big beard and guy. Um, I'm gonna. Try to pull them a man. You know, Gigi. Oh No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. You have extra reception because I'm on my second one.

Speaker 1:19:16Die. Let me die. Let me fall to my death. Tyler. Tyler. That's happened every, the first time. That is how, what are the odds? I'm rolling two ones. One in 400, one and 400. So it's like, what's the autumn rolling ones? Twice. One in 16. One hundred. One and $160,000. God, you guys are witnessing history right now. That's horribly of cancer than this occurring. So. So Tyler, tyler, I'm pulling them up. That rope slip slip and all of your progress has been reset. So, uh, his progress is fine. He made it up. Uh, I think 10 feet. Yeah. So we still have to make it up 15 feet feet. Really.

Speaker 1:20:10Thank you for not saying something like the rope breaks. No. Yeah, the rope snapped and you fall to your death. That will actually, we have to roll for it. There'll be like 15 d, six. Your staff. Could I do something like a, like a now strength wouldn't have me like grab onto a rock or something or. Well we'll see when we get there. We'll see if we get there when we get there. Uh, fuck you. So that was a, those orals turn. That was painful. That was sucks. That sucks. And we come now to a group that was that one. That one's dub a. We come down to the group that's still in the air and they actually guys, they fly and sort of a triangle formation in front of you guys. And they all seem to be a,

Speaker 3:20:58you see sparks starting to form in the middle of the triangle transmutation. Circle Guy Stargate. Is that their turn turn from being a thing? So you're preparing, you're charging. All right. Time for me to get the charging their jio crystal. Let's do athletics, baby.

Speaker 1:21:20No, I'm sorry. No M group one's turned. God dammit. There's still two of those and they fly down. I don't know,

Speaker 3:21:27to the 19. Oh ouch. That will hurt. But it won't hit hard because there's only two of them. So one to six damage we to make sure to do. And we come now to ban certain. I'm going to get outta here. Me Free from athletics, the Italian Paladin. Keep in mind I can't to the rope anyways. Why not a 20? Why a plus? Oh well that will hit. No, he was, he was pulling that will double do it. So I'm 10 feet, 10 feet to go. Okay. So I'm going to reach out to help them

Speaker 1:22:10once, once he's within range. Pulling stuff up. Five more for your arms. Both arms link could reach that if you've got, if you've got a credit, I would double it.

Speaker 3:22:19Okay. Um, uh, we come now to fork. Okay. That's going to be on a shirt too. That's our shirt right there. Um, so I'm going to face toward the ones that are doing a triangle formation because I don't want whatever that is to happen. Eldritch blast. I'll just blast the uh, that group. Go for it. Oh, okay. Uh, so I got a nine. Nine. No, no shit below a 10. It's not gonna hit. Um, and we go to aura. He isn't attacking him, right?

Speaker 1:23:05Uh, I mean, yeah, like there's a group swooping. There's two. There's a group of two swooping down to attack cam. There's a group of about five charging nothing.

Speaker 3:23:13Charging a think I'm going to do everything. I'm not meant to do damage to keep trying to help him. Okay.

Speaker 1:23:24Try not to roll up to one this time. You're twice. Yeah, you caught me. I did it on purpose.

Speaker 3:23:33A flat eight. Uh, no. I'm trying to add. I don't blame you. Like I don't want your character to dye concentration or what? Our hex. Oh, you went to Bergen

Speaker 1:23:46concentration. You can do concentration to other things. You just can't. Uh, what does it? Real concentration. You can't cast spells that require concentration so you could go help him. You just can't cast spells, like if you get hit then you have to roll concentration. Um, so that group that was charging something third or no. Oh. And um, they uh, they fire off a fire bolt. Oh good. Okay. Big Deal in the wall or up there. They're flying out in the canyon so it. Okay. I don't know what the act of a rope would be. We'll find out gang. I believe the books that I was like 15 years that saying it's too said well, it doesn't really do much. It does damage, minimal damage to the rope, like literally half a day for one. So it didn't do damage because I ran down more damaged in that one.

Speaker 1:24:50Blasted. So like the fireball, it could have conceivably broken the robot itself. But yeah, I mean if that's down the line, you know, and uh, there's another group that's, that was attacking you. They're still swarming around you and Kinda glad you took it easy on us because any other dean would have been like, yeah, I wouldn't mind that because I'm not trying to kill nobody. I seek death. So, um, that, that's the final frontier. Today's a good day to die. That was a 17 him burly six one, and it is your turn or get the hell out of here.

Speaker 1:25:44Rise above. Climb that rope as above. So below, get me out this chasm, how they'll do it and are, if you're within five feet of the top and she should be past the, uh, the part of the rope, it's going to break now. So what you should be part of past the part of the rope that was going to break. That's a good point. Yes, he is. So I'm going to say the rope is back to full health technically because it was 10 feet down. This is the part we wanted to get past so bad, right? Nothing would know that. That's a good point. I like that. Yeah, that's fine. Um, and it is a, it's not just going to assist them. So you're to your turned into the health action.

Speaker 1:26:32Believe in the health. We don't actually do anything just when it comes to my train. Oh, we're going to actually roll it up I think upon, on what? Oh, for the pulling the rope. Pulling the rope. Okay. All right, good. Sorry, I don't speak Mexican. Oh, well your God. Damn it rolled off the thing. See what it was. Got It. Twelve will, uh, that will do it. You're up. He's out. Finally at last file for my hand and he pulls me over and we start over. Except that die one trying to pull up. Both groups of emts have congregated together and uh, they have now they're flying around and they've actually surrounded you guys.

Speaker 1:27:23This isn't an action. I'm going to tell them to back away from me. Like build our database. That'd be an intimidation from you. If you want to do intimidation that way. Ten feet that, that'll have to be on your turn. Your turn. Let's move up. I'm saying like prepare. They've, uh, they've surrounded you now and um, they're swooping in and a few of them are attacking all three of you. You get out of it. So I'm going to show you want to be. You've got combat now. There's going to be three individual AC rules against you guys. So I'm. So I'm against fork and Baron, uh, both of them got 17 hits. Both of you and I'm against Oro. It hits a 14. Uh, nope. I have a 16 or no because I don't want to shut up. Okay. So both against both of you. I'll say before I forgot before three. So eight damage against Bayern and six damage against, um, against fork.

Speaker 3:28:41Probably be better if I use a chaplain or are they going? Are they like at our level? Are they kind of like flying around? Art?

Speaker 1:28:48They're there. They're at your level now. They're in Malay. Roughly split there in Melania.

Speaker 3:28:53Why could whack them all with a hammer? All right, let's do this shit. Oh, nine plus five. Yeah. Yeah. So 14 plus five. So yeah,

Speaker 1:29:19I'm not going to choose to do the defiance Mike session. I should kill him. Kill him. Good. That'll kill a few. Yeah, I'll do that. Well you have to do the bind smite after you've seen this role.

Speaker 3:29:32Um, ah. Ah, ah.

Speaker 1:29:38It kills a few of them. So there you go. That was really like

Speaker 3:29:42pop, like it's like one. And we come to a fork. What? Whereas everything, um, you're surrounded by like about five m so far. Are they away from me? They are in melee wrench. I'm going to, I guess I'll just do another eldridge blush. I'll just go ahead. That's like an unlimited amount of charges she's got with that trip. So it's just like infinite. I got a, a scorching 24 that will hit as fuck for get them at a barbecue or 10. Okay.

Speaker 1:30:34Do they have Shitty Luke? Usually they probably won't have anything.

Speaker 3:30:40So that's the, is that 10 plus anything else? A street your charisma mob. When do you have to live? At 14. But pensioner and vacation. Do you have like your invocations invocation? Yeah. Do you have the prediction? You're eldritch invocations. What'd you get for being a warlock? Oh, I'm, I get mask of many faces and agonizing plasticizing last ajit crystal motto. So I got a 14. Nice. So yeah, there's about, he did, there's one implant. So we come to aura and I'm going to roll a one and smack somebody. Uh, is it within the Malay you said, right? Yup. Let's do inflict ones on [inaudible]. I feel like. Okay. French. Walk up and touch him. Just going to poke a. does a 14 hit. I roll three d tin damage.

Speaker 1:31:46He takes three, 10 necrotic damage as I touch him on the face.

Speaker 3:31:52That's pretty piss poor. Actually. I rolled a uh, uh, is it okay? I was about to say, is it greater than three? Yes. It's 12. Yay. You've killed it.

Speaker 1:32:06They're dead. How was your experience? Do we go

Speaker 3:32:09uh, enough? We Love, love. Yay. I had already planned for you guys to a level up sometimes episode. So we actually do.

Speaker 1:32:18Yeah,

Speaker 2:32:54we are.

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